"Herein, what are the six kinds of grief based on the household life? When one regards as a non-acquisition the non-acquisition of forms cognizable by the eye that are wished for, desired, agreeable, gratifying, and associated with worldliness - or when one recalls what was formerly not acquired that has passed, ceased, and changed - grief arises. Such grief as this is called grief based on the household life.
"When one regards as a non-acquisition the non-acquisition of sounds cognizable by the ear...the non-acquisition of odours cognizable by the nose...the non-acquisition of flavours cognizable by the tongue...the non-acquisition of tangibles cognizable by the body...the non-acquisition of mind-objects cognizable by the mind that are wished for, desired, agreeable, gratifying, and associated with worldliness - or when one recalls what was formerly not acquired that has passed, ceased, and changed - grief arises. Such grief as this is called grief based on the household life. These are the six kinds of grief based on the household life.
"Herein, what are the six kinds of grief based on renunciation? When, by knowing the impermanence, change, fading away, and cessation of forms, one sees as it actually is with right wisdom that forms both formerly and now are all impermanent, suffering, and subject to change, one generates a longing for the supreme liberations thus: 'When shall I enter upon and abide in that base that the noble ones now enter upon and abide in' In one who generates thus a longing for the supreme liberations, grief arises with that longing as condition. Such grief as this is called grief based on renunciation.
"When, by knowing the impermanence, change, fading away, and cessation of sounds...of odours...of flavours...of tangibles ...of mind-objects, one sees as it actually is with right wisdom that mind-objects both formerly and now are all impermanent, suffering, and subject to change, one generates a longing for the supreme liberations thus: 'When shall I enter upon and abide in that base that the noble ones now enter upon and abide in?' In one who thus generates a longing for the supreme liberations, grief arises with that longing as condition. Such grief as this is called grief based on renunciation. These are the six kinds of grief based on renunciation.”
~ Saḷāyatanavibhaṅga Sutta, Majjhima-Nikāya, Sutta 137
The first set of six kinds of grief (domanassa) mentioned in the passage just quoted, the grief based on the household life, is what the Buddha called in Sakkapañha Sutta (Dīgha-Nikāya, Sutta 21) the grief that should not be pursued (asevitabba). In the Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta (Majjhima-Nikāya, Sutta 10) it is also called worldly painful feeling (sāmisaṃ dukkhaṃ vedanaṃ). This kind of worldly grief includes the dejection based on failure to acquire material things desired or, by extension, loss of material things which one is attached to and which one considers to belong to oneself. Material things here include not only material properties but also position, status, as well as beings (loved ones, relatives, friends, and even pets).
For example it includes grieving over the loss of a love one due to death. While such grieving is, understandably, the nature of an ordinary unenlightened human beings still afflicted with defilements, and would, in the mundane world, be considered “natural” for a human being, yet in the discipline of the Noble One such grieving would be considered as an inability to accept the nature of reality. It betrays a deficiency in insight or wisdom into the nature of things as they really are. And so we find that when the Buddha was about to pass away and the Ven. Ānanda was weeping and grieving over it, the Buddha admonished him saying:
“Enough, Ānanda, do not sorrow and cry. Have I not previously declared that there will be separation, parting, and departing from all that is dear and beloved. How could it be, Ānanda, that what is born, come to be, conditioned, subject to breaking up, even if it is the body of the Tathāgata, not break up? This is impossible.”
~ Mahāparinibbāna Sutta, Dīgha-Nikāya, Sutta 16
